Check back soon for part 2!
I knew it was going to be a terrible assignment when the dispatcher said it was “a little outside town.” Outside town turned out to be an hour into the wilderness, down a road that barely deserved to be called a road. Somehow, whenever there was a cleaning job nobody wanted, my name appeared at the top of the list.
When I finally arrived, there was nothing around except dead grass, crooked trees, and an enormous old wooden house sagging in the middle of nowhere. Sweet Lord, that place was filthy. The porch leaned sideways. Dirt covered the windows. Moss grew between the wooden boards, and several roof tiles had simply given up and fallen away.
I killed the engine and stared at it. “You’re fucking kidding me. This is a job for at least three people.” But fuck it, rent was due next week, so I couldn’t be picky. I grabbed my supplies and stepped inside. The smell was horrible. Old beer, damp wood, dust, food leftovers. The floorboards creaked under my feet. There were dirty dishes everywhere, piles of clothes, empty bottles, broken furniture, and enough cobwebs to suggest the spiders had been paying rent.
I called for the owner. No answer. I called again and started walking deeper into the house. Then I heard something moving in the darkness behind me. A wet dragging sound. I turned. A man stepped out of the shadows. He was enormous and horribly fat, with pink skin, tiny bloodshot eyes, smelling like he hadn’t taken a bath in years. Where his nose should have been, he had an elephant’s trunk. A long, wrinkled trunk. I kid you not.
He stared at me. I stared at him. He hiccupped. Apparently, this thing, this creature, was the owner. I introduced myself and explained that I had come to clean. He gestured around the house and told me he wanted the entire place sparkling. I looked around. Sweet Lord, that was going to take days. I told him so politely. He shrugged. “There ain’t no rush, sugar”. Fine. Money is money.
For hours, I scrubbed, swept, hauled out garbage, washed piles of dishes, and took care of countless other chores until I was completely exhausted. The owner spent most of the time sitting in front of the television, drinking beer. By evening, the house looked slightly less disgusting, although “slightly” was doing most of the work in that sentence. I had just finished scraping something black off the staircase when the owner approached me to hand me my pay check for the day.
“So… You ain’t afraid of doin’ some dirty work, right sugar?” I nodded. “It pays the bills”, I said. He smiled and looked at me with his beady eyes. “You wanna make some money fast?” I barely looked up while collecting my supplies. “Sure.” I assumed he was joking, or drunk, or possibly both.
“I pay ya ten times the rate for a little… Over time.” That got my attention. I slowly turned toward him. “Ten times?” He nodded. I looked at him more carefully. “What do I have to do?”
There was a long pause. Then he burped. He lifted one hand lazily and gave his trunk a little twitch. “Hehe… Just help me relief some stress. Been a tough day, ya know?” I stared at him. His trunk twitched again. “You want, like, a massage?” He just stared at me with a big grin. I frowned and took the trunk in both hands, giving it a few quick rubs. “All right. There you go.”
He chuckled. “Hehe. Not that fast, sugar. Do it properly. And not just that trunk, if ya know what I mean…”
Sweet Lord, he wanted me to jerk him off. That disgusting bastard. Should’ve known there was a catch. For a moment I just stood there, staring at him, trying to keep myself from kicking him in the nuts or saying anything rude that would make me lose my job.
“C’mon sugar. It’s easy money…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick wad of cash. He began counting. One stack. Then another. Then another. He held it out to me. “Here. Count it.” Well, it was real alright. It was more money than I normally made in several weeks.
I looked around the house. The rotten wooden walls. The filthy carpets. The breathing door beneath the stairs. The dark hallway upstairs. “Forgive me, Sweet Lord.” I took the cash and put it into my pocket. “Alright then, let’s get this over with.” The creature smiled. “That’s my girl.”
I grabbed his trunk and started rubbing it. I could smell him getting sweaty and excited. Sweet Lord, making love to that fat piece of shit was even more disgusting then cleaning the damn place. But hey, at least it paid better.
Somehow, his remake of Dumbo was one I hadn’t gotten around to seeing yet. And, honestly, Disney’s live action remakes are pretty awful, so I wasn’t exactly expecting a masterpiece either way. 😂 But I finally sat down to watch it, and yup, it was pretty underwhelming. But there was one thing that really grabbed me: Dumbo’s trunk. 🐘
Dumbo is usually known to be cute and adorable, but this time around he looked… kinda creepy. Needless to say, that got my perverted mind drifting off quickly. The longer I looked at that trunk, the more it intrigued me. Fuck his ears. Who cares about those? 😂 That trunk is where the real magic happens!
And that’s basically where the idea for this series started. I wanted to take a trunk as the core element and put it to good use, but I didn’t want to simply make another elephant-like creature. So I stuck it on a sort-of human being, although a particularly gross one. 😅
I suppose the term “nose job” has more than just one meaning from now on! 😝✊👃💦
